It’s Just Poison…

I jumped into a cab and headed to work. Priority number one was to finish deploying a new environment at work that everyone thought wouldn’t happen (yeah, I finished it =).

 

I think I arrived sometime around 11am and I had to leave for the airport no later that 3:15. That gave me 4 hours to do 3 days of work, get some lunch, go to the bank, and hit up B&H to pick up the new Canon 7D (it’s awesome!)

 

I finished all my work around 12:45, and I ran out of the building and jumped in a can to B&H. I had everything and then realized that I left my passport (my only form of ID) back at work. FUCK! I needed to pay for everything with a credit card and I have no ID. I also don’t have any time to go back to the office and return… shit shit shit!

 

Operation, You-Don’t-Need-ID, commenced.

 

When I approached the check out counter, I kept the lady talking and laughing throughout the entire process. Made sure that her mind was on anything other than this transaction. This allowed her to conveniently forget to ask for my ID. Score!

 

From B&H I ran to the bank (literally ran). Made my transfer and then jumped in a cab back to the office. I picked up two pieces of street meat (hot dogs from a street vendor) and ran into the building. It was now 2:30. That gives me 45 minutes to wrap things up, eat my food, and start playing with my new toy =)

 

I left the office at exactly 3:15. I had a feeling traffic would be bad, and was I ever so right. It took over an hour and half(!) to get to JFK. This is normally a 45 minute ride.

 

Into the airport, I checked in with Aeroflot (the Russian airlines) and went to my gate. I only had to wait about 30 minutes before they began to board.

 

Once on the plane, I was fully engulfed in my new camera instruction book (this camera is amazing, seriously). When we got into the air and drink service started, I was asked what I wanted in Russian. I shook my head and said I was OK with a smile … =)

 

Russian flight attendant lady looked confused and said some more Russian and pointed at the sodas in her tray. I smiled, showed her my bottle of Coke that I brought on with me and said “No, thank you =)”.

 

I’m not sure if the Russians hate Coke, don’t like to be refused from an offer, or just don’t give a damn about your response, but she promptly said something in an angry tone and shove a can of Pepsi in my face and dropped a “moist towelette” on my lap and left. I felt used.

 

For the main course, I had a guy flight attendant. I wasn’t really that hungry, but learning from my previous lesson, when he spoke to me in Russian (translate: “Fish or Beef”). I nodded with a smile on my face, stuck out my hands, and said “Beef please”. He smiled and gave me beef. It was good.

 

Now I’m watching Indiana Jones : Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in Russian on a TV that looks to have been created sometime in the late 70′s. I was kinda curious why they chose this movie. I mean, it’s the Russians (Post WW2 era) against the Americans, and the Russians are the bad guys. Glad I’m an American aboard a plane full of Russians going to Russia on a Russian airline.

 

Now to kill some time. I fired up my laptop and watched 2012. I was expecting it to be horrible according to all the reviews that I read, but it was a fun watch. I liked it and it did the job. After that I watched a documentary called Food Inc. (Man, Russians are gaudy…I’m sitting in Moscow watching everyone walk by, and the clothing / jewelry choices of these people are amazing. The women mainly.) So, this movie… it was really good and I highly encourage everyone to watch it. I guarantee you’ll learn something. It’s one of those movies where by the end of it you feel that we’re all doomed. You know. A feel good movie.

 

Oh, and my laptop screen glitched out on me in the middle of the movie too. Everything just turned blue. Had to keep hitting it and make sure not to touch it once the picture came back. Looks like I’ll be returning this thing as soon as I get home. Dang it!

 

Another little nugget of knowledge for you; Russians are the type to clap and cheer when a plane lands. You would think their favorite (holy shit… this chick next to me is listening to the radio and the Ghostbusters theme song just came on!) sports team just won a world series. Very similar to Latin Americans. I’m still on the fence as to why they do it though. I’m not sure if it’s, “Yay! We’ve made it!” or perhaps a , “Woo hoo! We’re alive”. I should ask around.

 

As we were deplaning (not sure if that’s a word, but it is now =), there were two security guys pointing these weird looking devices at us that had a giant eye on it. At first I seriously thought they were looking for radiation levels on everyone as they were leaving, but as I passed one of the guys I looked back and saw that there was a black and white screen looking through the people s clothes. It was a mobile x-ray / infrared scanner. Really cool tech. I want one!

 

So, it’s noon here in Moscow, and I have 6 hours to kill before my flight leaves for Cairo. I tried to get a Russian visa before I left, but apparently you need to stay at least 1 night to get one. Dammit! So I’m stuck in a smoke filled airport that looks like they built it drunk with a bunch of drywall. I’m pretty sure this place was built in the communist era and hasn’t really been updated since. Well, except for the tons of duty free shops (I counted 15… there’s only 20 gates in this terminal) and the IRISH BAR! (WTF?). My first task is to buy liquor. Why? Because I read that hard liquor costs in Cairo can run up to $15 a shot for whiskey and such (hell no!). I knew I could get some cheap vodka here, but I really wanted Jager… what would be the chances? I can tell you 1 in 15 =). In the back corner along the bottom of the last Duty Free shop was a row of Jaermeister! Hell yes! Leave it to me to sniff it out. Now I know I’ll have an AWESOME time in Cairo. I just hope the Egyptians are ready for me

 

Ok, I thought my evening / morning (man…i am lost in time right now) was over. I was fading out by a wall and then forced myself to get up and walk around. It was 4:30pm Russia time (8:30am NYC time). That’s when I realized I will probably sleep on my flight to Cairo. And I land at 11pm. So food looks like it’s not going to happen. Since I don’t have any roubles (Russian currency), I need to use a card. That means restaurant. That’s when I remembered that Irish Pub.

 

Have you ever belched fine caviar while listening to a combination of Tetris techo and Beatles hip hop? Welcome to the Russian version of an Irish pub =). I’m on Tullamore Dew (my favorite, hard-to-find-in-the-US Irish whiskey) glass number 5. I had penne pasta with salmon and onions with a side of caviar. Odd, tasty, but not my thing. Hungry…I ate it.