It’s Just Poison…

I really went into this not knowing what to expect at all. Originally, I was supposed to be going to LA to meet up with a friend for Metalfest. Last minute cancelations made me change my plans (and I’m happy they did!).

If you read my article about preparing for the trip, you’ll notice that it actually didn’t happen anything like that. Everything that could go wrong did… I’m actually pretty surprised that I didn’t have a mental breakdown, or get ridiculously pissed off. I think the random perks and excessive alcohol helped =)

So, It’s Wednesday morning, and I’m on a train back to my place from uptown (this time I made sure to use the restroom before I left . I wasn’t paying too much attention and got off at the wrong stop, so I wound up having to pay for a cab to take me the rest of the way home. Not a big deal, just a couple extra bucks that I wasn’t planning on.

I arrive home, throw all my stuff into a backpack, and then head out the door for the airport. Thankfully, I was leaving from Laguardia, so I wouldn’t have to pay for a $50 cab ride. Saved $30 right there… boo ya!

As soon, as I step outside of my apartment, there was a cab right in front of me that was available. Amazing… I thought I was on a roll, and this was only going to get better from here. On the cab ride to the airport, I used my iPhone to check into my flight. I was flying from NYC to Houston, then from Houston to Las Vegas. I wasn’t in a hurry, and that’s what you get for buying the cheapest possible ticket. I can live with that. I’m checking in with my phone, and I scored an exit row for my flight to Houston (yay!), and on my flight from Houston to Las Vegas, I got an upgrade to first class! All that flying finally paid off somewhere. I was flying to vegas in true pimp style =) This trip was definitely looking up. With the luck I was having, I felt that I should hit the tables as soon as I landed. This is just too good!

Then it began.

I hear my cabbie (elderly female Indian…uh oh) yelling at someone. I naturally look out the window to see what’s up. Apparently she felt that she should be allowed to consume two lanes down Broadway. Maybe she wasn’t comfortable with just one? I don’t know, and I didn’t care. I just laughed at the situation…. then I noticed that I was heading SOUTH on Broadway… ummm…. “HEY! The airport is the OTHER WAY!”

“You no tell me what to do. I the driver!” – EFI

“What? Ok… sorry. Can you please turn the fuck around and take me to where I told you to go? Now I’ll be luck to make my flight” – Me (hey… that was a question… I didn’t *tell* her to do anything =)

[Weird Shriek and then some obvious foreign cursing]

“Ok, you’re obviously not capable of driving a taxi. Please stop. I’m getting out” – Me

And she did. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET! There were cars buzzing by both sides blaring their horns and she’s trying to hand-write me a taxi receipt (?!). This is just too much. I honed in on my NYC timing and acrobatic skills to jump out of the cab and hauled ass to the curb before the UPS truck tried to take me out.

That was fun… “Taxi!”

The next guy took me to the airport, and quite quickly. I threw him a couple extra bucks for a tip and hopped into the airport terminal, cut in line, and printed my boarding pass to my flights. Turns out, if a crowd of people that are already pissed off by waiting in line forever for an incompetent airline person to check a bag see you cut in front of them, they really don’t like it. The kicker is all they do is resort to a kindergarden mentality and point at you while shouting the likes of, “that’s not fair!” I hope my fragile mind will be able to handle the pointing and staring. Eek!

With a boarding pass in hand, I run to check-point-charlie (aka. the security line), and go through the “Elite Members” line because it’s about 20 times shorter. Am I an “Elite Member”? Nope, but most of the time I they never really pay that much attention and just let anyone through. Sure enough, I was on my way.

I showed up to the gate just as they began boarding and was able to walk right onto the plane. Phew! Now I can just sit back and relax. “Oh… I should send a text to my girl to let her know I made it and that I’ll miss her… yeah, that’s a good idea. Now where’s my phone…”

SHIT!

I dart off the plane and bust ass to back to the security line. The look of sheer terror on peoples’ faces was kind of entertaining. Imagine you’re leisurely walking to your gate and you’re checking out something on your phone. Then you glance up to see a seven-foot tall man in camos and chains running full speed right at you. What do you do? Most people either did the side-to-side oh-shit-shuffle, not knowing where to go in a state of panic, and others just screamed and leaped out of the way. =)

When I reached the security line, I asked if anyone saw an iPhone left behind…Ahem, let’s try that again…”Yo! lazy ass TSA chick just sitting there painting your nails while other TSA losers hit on you, did you see a phone?!” Without even looking up… “nahw, we ain’t seen anythin’” … no shit.

Now, I run back to the plane hoping that they’re holding it for me. I jumped in, and they shut the door. I made it back to the plane, but my iPhone was MIA. Dangit. That sucks.

When we landed in Houston, I went straight for the Presidents Club (my upgraded first class ticket gets me in =), and then straight to the bar (free drinks!) and ordered three whiskey on the rocks. Need to numb the pain.

My flight from Houston to Las Vegas was pretty uneventful. I chatted with the guy next to me who was flying from Amsterdam to Vegas to continue his party, ate a bag of combos, and took a little nap (read: drank more whiskey and passed out).

As soon as I landed, I B-lined it out of the airport to the taxi stand and told him my location: the Apple store in the Fashion Mall. Time to get a new phone. It’s kind of hard to meet up with your friends and do anything really, without a phone, so I figured I would just bite the bullet now. Getting the new phone was pretty simple, except for the fact that as I was walking out the door with it, I found out that the home button didn’t work and had to turn around and to an exchange for a new one. Lost another half hour of my life there.

With a working phone, I take a cab up to the MGM where I would be staying at. A friend of mine owns a couple condos there and was letting me stay there for free (damn straight!). What was not listed on my reservation though was which tower it was is. I had a 1 out of 3 shot to pick the right one, guess which one I chose? Yep. The wrong one =)

Once checked in at the correct tower, I dropped off my bags and headed to the Tropicana (where the APP Convention was taking place). One minor note about the condo (all the MGM condos actually), there was a major moth infestation! They were everywhere! Looks like I won’t be staying here tomorrow. F-That! I’m not a huge fan of moths buzzing around my head as I sleep and have them eat through all my clothes. Eww. Anyway, off to APP to get my press pass and meet up with a few friends that I knew would be there. The convention floor was to close at 8 and I got there at 7:45. Just in time.

Just in time to receive a phone call that they’re all at the Bellagio eating dinner at the buffet. Crap! Ok… I’m craving food now, so I decided just decided to walk down the strip to Chipotle for a burrito. Turns out it was waaaay farther than I though, and my boots were tearing up my feet. I guess they weren’t made for walking long distances in 95 degree heat. Next stop, the Puma store back at the mall to buy some shoes so I could walk. More money down the drain I wasn’t planning on spending. On the upside, I really do like the shoes =)

Onto Chipotle! Burrito in hand, I head back to the hotel to meet up with my peeps.

The bar at the Tropicana was already full of some seriously modded out people. More horn implants, facial tattoos, and crazy scar work than I’ve ever seen in one place. The best part… I didn’t know a singe one of them! I love meeting new people! This is going to rock!

I received a call from Rachel ([@]BMEzine.com[/@]) that she was up in her room with her man (Norm) and that I should meet them up there. I stopped up in the room for a bit to say hi and chat. That’s when she told me that he had just proposed to her and that they were going to be getting married… tomorrow! I also have never seen Rachel that happy before, so I congratulated her on her new future and told her that I was totally going to crash the wedding =). The only problem was that I only brought shorts and ripped up Slayer cut-off T’s with me. Guess I need to go out and buy a fancy shirt (I also needed one for the banquette the next day that I didn’t know about). Yay… time to spend more money I don’t have! Haha!

We then headed downstairs to the bar to hang out and meet people. As soon as I got down there, I saw my friend from back home, [@]Spliff[/@] of Disgraceland! Awesome! I had no clue he was going to be there. Then I started noticing more and more faces. There were “The Italians” Bruno and Brenno, the runners of APTPI in Italy. If you are around Milano when they do their next conference, you should seriously check it out. It’s like the APP conference of Europe. Their next one is in Milano, January 15-17, 2010.

Then I ran into my old friend Arnauf ([@]Ragnar[/@])! I haven’t seen him in years since he lives in Cologne, Germany. We got a few drinks together and caught up on everything. Then while we were at the bar, “The Slovenians” showed up! Crazy! They were these three chicks from Slovenia that I’ve run into at APTPI and the Milano Tattoo Convention. To top it off “The Crazy Germans” showed up (btw, I’m not the one who made up these grouping names… everyone was referring to them that way =).

Putting back shots of Jager, and buying each other rounds of drinks we all hung out for a few hours and I wound up meeting a lot of awesome people from all around the world. Others to stop by the group were Steve Haworth, Allen Faulkner, OL ([@]DrEvil[/@]) and Stephan ([@]INKstar[/@]) from Wildcat in Germany. Good times =)

As the night started getting late (3am-ish), the bar started breaking up. That’s when someone informed me that it was 7am back home. Haha! I guess maybe I should get some sleep.

I said my goodbyes (I think), and headed back to my room across the street to get some Zzz’s. Before totally passing out, I ordered up some room service. Nothing like having an entire cart wheeled into your room with fancy plate covers, flowers, full set of silverware, and a couple nice embroidered napkins just for a meatball hoagie =)

… and … i was out!

I haven’t been to 1 minute of the conference yet, but I could already tell that APP was going to kick some serious ass and I was wishing that I came earlier.

.: Adam