It’s Just Poison…

Our cab showed up on time, and miraculously we were both up and ready for it. We had settled our bill the previous night, so we were all set to go. There was another guy that was sharing the cab with us that was going to columbia. He was hammered out of his mind. We all made it to the airport, but I doubt he made it out of the country. I don’t think he even knew his own name.

There were about 5 or 6 flights leaving between 5am and 6am all going to Cuzco. And these weren’t little prop-planes. Full 767’s. Man, Machu Pichu was popular.

Again, I tried to sleep on the plane. It was a short hour and a half flight, but I was freaking exhausted and needed sleep. Did I get it? Nope. I sure as hell tried though. I folded my body into Cirque De Soile positions trying to get comfortable. I got ‘nuthin. We landed, I was cranky.

We jumped in a cab and told him to take us to the train station. Both the lady back at the hostel, and the people on the airplane told us to haul ass to the train station to try and catch the last train to Aguas Calientes, otherwise we’d have to spend the night in here in Cuzco, which meant we’d get out trip to Machu Pichu cut short, and wouldn’t even have the possibility of climbing WynaPichu (that big mountain in the background of all the photos), as they only let 400 people per day in. Everything seemed ok, I wasn’t paying too much attention. Then we stop. Nicole tells me to get out of the cab. We’re not at a train station. I don’t even see a train station. I’m pissed, and I make it very clear that I am so. We’ve stopped at his friends travel office who’s going to "help" us. I look at nicole and tell her very firmly, “This is fucked. We need to get in the cab and tell him to take us to the train station now". She tells me that these guys are trying to help us. While this guy is giving us a geography lesson, I’m talking very loudly over everyone demanding that we leave and we leave immediately. Nicole manages to tell the guy to take us to the train station.

We arrive at the train station, run inside and inquire about the train to Aguas Calientes, and there is one… tomorrow. We missed the last train by 5 minutes. I’m fuming. I’m so pissed, I don’t say a word. I look at the cabbie that followed us in and want to tear is head off. Nicole then tells me that we have to go back to office we came from because the cabbie says it’s the only place we can get tickets for the next train. I say simply, “fuck that, we do it here.” Nicole freaks out, tells me to do it myself and storms off. Fine. I can handle this. So between the cabbie and the train guy (neither of which speak english), I devise a plan to take a cab (how convenient) for two hours to another city where we can take a train t Aguas Calientes today. The train ticket would be $100 usd (which I could buy right there…amazing). The cab fare would be $70 usd…awesome. So I settle on the decision solely on the fact that I’ll still be able to get to Aguas Calientes. I hate being scammed, and Nicole’s blind trust in everyone has worn thin. I go to the ATM, take out $200 cash for nicole and my train tickets (Nicole’s card didn’t work in the ATM), and we get back in the cab for our 2 hour drive to some small town in the middle of nowhere Peru. I want tell everyone to fuck off and just go back to Lima, but I’m set on climbing this damned mountain if it kills me.

Making lemonade out of the lemons, I saw some great Peruvian countryside and mountains on the trip to nowhere-land. Took some cool photos, and contemplated kicking the cabbie out of the car and leaving him on an mountain. The air was too thin, and it felt like my asthma was it full affect, so I passed on the idea and took some more photos. We were over 3,000 meters above sea level. That’s almost 2 miles up. Pretty intense.

around 9:30am, we arrive in the little town where we were to catch our train. We had about an hour to spare, so we walked around the town to look for nick-nacks to buy. I found a really cool necklace, so I grabbed that and a redbull. Needed the energy. On the way back to the train station, this ancient lady approached be selling bags of leaves. What the hell would I want a bag of leaves for. Then it clicked. These were cocoa leaves. Munch on these for a quick fix for altitude sickness, or a buzz. They also have Mate de Coco all over the place (cocoa leave tea). So I bought a bag. I think it ran about 67 cents.

Back at the train station, we saw a train arrive, and the gates opened to let people in (all tourists), so we figured it was our train and followed them in. Nope… not our train. So we follow some other tourist into what we thought was the waiting area until our train (the next one) showed up. Nope, not the waiting area. Turned out to be a private bed and breakfast for rich tourists (mainly european). We blended right in…

Our train finally showed up and we jumped on board. It took about 2 seconds to realize why the hour and a half train ride cost so much. All the rich tourists boarded right behind us. We apparently bought the last two tickets on a train that had porters, waitstaff, baggage handlers, all wearing matching bellman uniforms. We were on a fancy train. We even got lunch served to us. Crazy. This gave me the perfect time to try out the cocoa leaves. The didn’t smell too bad. They tasted… yucky. I tried to accept the taste, even put more in thinking if I enhance the flavor it’ll get better. Go figure, it made it worse. I tried to spit out the mushed up leaves out the window. Didn’t work out so well. Most went out the window. The rest, on me, in my beard, and some on Nicole. That was my first, and last experience with cocoa leaves.

The hostel that was booked ahead of time and paid in advance was to meet us at the train station with a little card that had our names on it. Well, in theory anyway. There were a lot of hotels / hostels picking up the passengers. All except us. Awesome. We leave the train station and try to find the hostel on foot (there’s no cars in Aguas Calientes… hence the train). A little asking around and some wrong turns, we find our hostel. It was actually really nice.

Next task was to get our tickets to Machu Pichu. We weren’t really sure if they limited entrance to the whole thing to 400 or just the mountain so we played it safe and made that our first stop. The town is about 400 people big and looks like a favela (those shanty towns in Rio), but clean, safe, and friendly (but pushy) people. We found the ticket office no problem. Well, kinda. We found it, but there wasn’t anyone there. Lunch time I guess. Nicole talked to a guy that worked next door and found out that they only take Soles’ (cash). Crap. Our next stop on this scavenger hunt would be an ATM. We found it. Yes, it. I grabbed my wallet, pulled out my debt card and took out some cash. Well, that’s what was supposed to happen. What really happened was: I pulled out my wallet and discovered that I had no debt card. Awesome. Looks like I left it in the ATM back in Cuzco. Sun of a bitch. While nicole was mailing some postcards I found an Internet place so I could look up the number to Citibank to call and cancel my card. The kicker? The electricity was out. Apparently it went out everywhere. Rock. I’m glad I’m not on a mountain, in a tiny village, out in the middle of nowhere, completely cut of by civilization, with no means of cash, and in desperate need of it. Oh wait…

Nicole took out the extra cash to cover my entrance. Today just got worse. Didn’t think it would / could happen. But it did. Hey, wanna make things more fun? Lets throw in some mosquitos. Not the american kind. The Machu Pichu kind. They’re tiny little things, the size of gnats, but they make a mean hole in your body. You don’t just get a little itchy bump. Blood actually drips from the holes. Throw in the possibility of malaria or some other jungle disease and you get a great dose of severe irritation. There was a lot of weight on my last straw, and I felt it snapping. I ran (literally) to the drug store and did the international charade for bug spray (slap your self silly, and then make a spraying motion), purchased some Off and doused myself. Guess what, bug spray on a healing tattoo burns… a lot.

Completely fed up, super hungry and unbearably tired, we head back toward the hostel to eat at the restaurant next door so we can stumble to it afterward. I had a pizza and cream of mushroom soup with a couple… ok few, pisco sours (S. American alcohol drink…yummy and strong). After dinner, we go to the hostel to lay down for a little nap.

I woke up about an hour later in a panic. Shit! We didn’t get the tickets! Nicole hands me the cash and her student ID. When we were there the first time, the guy said they might let her get her ticket at half off with her student ID, but since it didn’t have an expiration date, they might not accept it. I told Nicole to give me enough cash for 2 full priced tickets in case they didn’t take the ID. She told me she didn’t have any more cash. So I said she should come with me then in case she needs to explain her way through it (English isn’t so common around here). She refuses and made a big deal about it, so I said “fine, but if they don’t take it, you have to go get it yourself”. She agreed.

I walked down the hill to get the tickets. Guess what, the lady didn’t accept the student ID and as a bonus she didn’t speak English. Surprise! I march back up the hill (starting to rain now) to the hostel / bed. I’m so tired I seriously could curl up under a tree and pass out. When I got into the room, I told Nicole that she didn’t take the ID so she’d have to go down there and try to explain the deal. She handed me more cash and told me to go back to get a full priced ticket. Knowing how tired I was, I thought, maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I misheard something. So I verified. “I asked for the cash before I went, you said you didn’t have it. So… ”

I’m walking back down the hill in the rain to get another ticket. I buy the ticket and go back up the hill in the heavier rain. I love being super tired walking up steep hills in the cold rain. Who needs sleep? Not this guy!

I drop the change and the ticket on the table, and pass out. I think it was somewhere around 9pm.

“BLARG!” That was the noise I heard. Nicole was vomiting in the toilet. I jump up to see if she’s ok. Looks like the altitude finally got to her. The drinks probably put her over the edge. Nicole gets altitude sickness. I ran downstairs and stole a water from the reception area (there wasn’t anyone there to pay and I wasn’t going to wait). I ran back up the stairs and gave it to her (don’t want to drink the water here). Feeling a little better she went back to sleep, as did I.

“BLARG!” Round 2. This time I ask what will actually help the problem. She asked me to get her some Mate de Coca to help settle her stomach. I was on it. I grabbed the change and ran downstairs. No on there, again. I run outside. It’s pouring rain, about 2 in the morning, and mostly everything is closed. I go up and down the mountain, down side street, and finally find a little store open. They had tea bags. Ok… I can work with this. I buy the bags and then jog back to the hostel. The altitude prevented me from actually running. At the hostel I go to where the owners were sleeping and wake them up to ask about an oven or microwave. The guy was really nice and understanding (broken spanish and charades got the point across). He let me use his microwave to heat up the water and make the tea. He even gave me his tea pot and a cup to use. I took it back up the the room and gave it to nicole. She felt better, I fell asleep.

Tags: Travels //